What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
