you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
