Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
