According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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