no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
