Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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