This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Your penis caused this!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
