Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
