you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize