the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
