Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize