so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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