What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize