It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
