butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
