But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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