pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
