Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
