im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
