1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
