When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
