operation harelip BJ is a go
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
