Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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