well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize