i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
