pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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