I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize