Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
