Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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