so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
