Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i think i have two assholes
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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