I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm just crazy horny about you
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
