I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
