This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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