I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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