this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
