I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
