This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
