If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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