I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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