after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize