Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
