Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fuck appropriateness.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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