I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
