u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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