The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
