you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
