Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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