smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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