Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i may or may not be watching the land before time
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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