too bad you live with your parents still
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
