So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
