i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
