Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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