I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
