Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
