it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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