I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
