what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
