Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
